Monday, March 22, 2010

unseen events

I am sure my readers were in suspense. I do aplologise for the delay. We had quit the busy week last week as well. I left off on St. Patricks day. Well all hell broke loose when I finnished my blog. What should have been a quite night home with the kids turned upside down. Some of my closer friends know that Bryan was missing again. This time we really had no idea what happened. He said he was going to our neighbors house and he has gained the trust again to go there and back as it is the house right next to ours so who were we to think different? Well dinner time was getting close so I started calling the kids in for dinner. Mind you it was a beautiful spring day and you could hear all the kids in the neighborhood playing outside happily. Dennise and Deanna came semi quickly, but no Bryan. After calling him a few more times the neighbor who he was suppose to be with tells us he was there for less then 10 minutes when he said he was going to play with another neighborhood child that he is not allowed to play with because of that kids trouble making. So me and Dennis are going in and out calling him and Dennise decides her and Deanna will go get him. Well time goes by, we are still calling the kids, we sit down and have dinner with the kids that are here. This all started around 4:30 or so and the time comes to 8:00 and the three kids are not home. Well Dennis sees Dennise and calls to her she says I've been telling Bryan it is time to come home and he isn't listening. Dennis says well get home and get ready for bed. While he is out there they come in here and I ask what is up and she tells me and I tell her why didn't you come and get someone? She says she thought he would come right away because St. Patricks day dinner is one of his favorites. So much in fact that it is all he has been talking about for weeks. So while Dennis is still out side he sees Bryan riding a bike (he had his bike taken away) so he wasn't sure who it belonged to so Dennis said to Bryan it is time to come into dinner NOW.

Now this is where the story turns from a child not listening and just having fun to a whole lot of mess for everyone. I guess he went back to return the bike while telling the child he was playing with he had to go home to eat. This was at 8:00pm. Well here we are still going out every 10-15 minutes yelling for Bryan to come in and then I start to worry. One this is Bryan's favorite dinner, two he always comes in when Dennis calls, and three I think I see the child who he was playing with playing by himself now. By this time just before 9:00pm I had already started making calls to those around us to keep an eye out for him. So Dennis and I leave directions for the older kids and we start out in the van scanning for him. Well he was no where to be found so we went by our house to see if he was there yet and of course he wasn't so we headed back out because we had seen a sheriff's car pulled over in one our near by churches and thought we would start the search for Bryan. It was now a little after 9:00pm and I am worried and it isn't getting any better. So we start the paperwork, the officer decides to look around town a bit in case he was spooked by her car, but no Bryan. She ended up back in our yard both of us with no sighting of him, another state trooper pulls up and we give him some information. We have already printed out pictures and they are being handed out when one of the neighbors I had talked to early called back and said Bryan was hiding in one of their sheds/playhouses, scared to death. We tell him we will be right there and the police officer asks do you want me to stay nearby? I tell her yes in case he runs. Well a few minutes later as Dennis and Buke are going to pick him up I get a call at home that he ran. So the police officer takes off and the hunt is on. I am going to cut off the story a bit by cutting out all the calls, frantic attempts, and shear being scared out of my mind now wondering just what could have happened to scare him so bad. Well about 1:00am Buke catches him while being sourrounded by all kinds of police inforcement. They take him to a nearby neighbors where we try to talk Bryan into coming home and he is scared something fierce. If he hadn't come home they were going to put him in the mental ward. I am so glad he came home. Well as his story goes when he returned the bike he was on his way home. Now you can see the other kids house from ours, another 17 year old kid who lives in our town and gives most people the creeps here who had talked Bryan into to doing something bad a while back,threatens Bryan. He had threatened Bryan because Bryan had told on him. Well once Bryan was home and we assured him between our dog, Dennis and Buke that kid was getting no where near him. Bryan also slept in our room as he does most nights so he felt safer. We as Bryan and I went to bed around 2:30am while Dennis stayed up a while to make sure things were all well.

Thursday I talk to Bryan's probabtion officer and she asks why he was let out alone? Well she isn't here to know Bryan gained our trust back to be able to go to the neighbors house. He is a correctional officer how much safer can you get? Oh well no changing her mind to the fact that Bryan had been threatened and so bad he was afraid to come home and knew the yard he was hiding in that kid could not enter, so he thought he was safe there. On to the afternoon where we meet his thearpist and they all seem to think Bryan needs to be put away for a while. I am not comfortable with that although I would like to know the options we have in case it does come to that someday. The poor kid has been through so much, but he just is not learning fast enough to make the good choices over the bad and it is getting him further and further into deep shit. I so wish we had known what was going on in his life so much earlier. I believe we would have been able to pass most of what we are going through now if he had only opened up sooner on what was going on. Well it is a late dinner tonight and the kids are waiting. I promise to finnish this story a bit later. Keep your kids close, but not to close where you smother them.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Our month so far

Let’s see this month is not only busy but boy is it a hard month for me. The 5th marks my Father's, Aunts, and Sister-in-laws birthdays. My father has been gone since September 2001, and my Aunt a few years later. The ninth is the day my mother died 6 years ago. Hard to believe it has been that long. The 15th is my Parents Anniversary so we always try to go out to their favorite Chinese Eatery, which Dennis took me to on Monday. I recently lost a Aunt on March 12th, her services are Saturday, and found out a uncle died on March 16th of last year and wonder why I wasn't contacted. Imagine how I felt when I wished my cousin a Happy Birthday and asked how his father was doing to find out he died. Like I said sometimes it is like everyone forgets me and then sometimes I know everything or so it seems. Oh well can't win either way. This month is pretty depressing for me to say the least. We are done with court for Bryan again for a while. Other then his law guardian pissing him off all went well. Of course child support starting rolling in again for the time being so we are getting some things for Bryan above and beyond what we get him normally of course Bryan still has nothing nice to say about that side. At least my sister stays in touch through the computer and his Bio paternal Grandmother also stays in touch, but has backed off a bit due to Bryan's request. He just needs some time to sort through things. I told them all to stay in touch because he needs to know they still care about him.
Dennis surprised me last night because he wanted to go to Kingston to see if they had any shirts for him for work next week. Now we don't take the van anywhere we don't need to go so this was a shock to me. While out he ended up with 2 pairs of pants, no shirts, a outfit for Dorothy for school next year, hat and gloves for Dorothy for next year, some Birthday presents for the kids, and a trip to Texas Roadhouse to seal the deal. Twice eating out in one week I can't ask for anymore. We also scouted out some big Birthday Present's that the kids have on their lists as well to get the best price. Boy I am getting really excited about getting our taxes and a newer van. Once we have the van then we can decide on what comes next that we need. We know a washer, and we priced some car seats for the new van in case it doesn't have built in ones like we have in our van now. I think we decided on one just waiting on that money. Dennis has been laid off for the week and usually it is me that wants to get out of the house but this week it has all been him LOL.
Today is of course ST. Patrick’s day so we are having the traditional cabbage and potatoes, but we also have carrots, Kabasi and usually Irish Soda bread. I forgot to get it so we took a trip to town and had to settle for Italian bread as they didn't have the Irish soda bread but I will pick some up tomorrow while we are out and some more cabbage since it is on sale. I have to say I have always loved the cabbage and it is so good for you. So as I sit here blogging away I keep checking on dinner and chatting with Dennis, while the kids are enjoying the spring weather that just might stick around for a while. So as long as things go well the rest of the month should fly by fast so until next time keep in touch with your families and love them for life goes by way to quickly.

What does the future hold?

Well we all had a very busy and exciting night last night and today was full of all kinds of chats and important talks. Everything revolved around Bryan today and what the future may hold for him. We have a meeting soon to talk about our options so that we can best make the right decision on what to do with Bryan. We were warned years ago this day may come and we have been trying to hold it off for as long as we could hoping for the best. Not that our faith and hope are faltering it is just we need a little more help in getting to the bottom of why Bryan is the way he is. He has made great improvements but everytime he gets into trouble it seems to be getting worse and more dangerous. He knows what he does is wrong but he still chooses to do the wrong thing. He will tell you he doesn't know why he did it, when he knew for a fact what he was doing was wrong and what he could have done to change the outcome. So here we are faced with all kinds of meetings to try and sort out the hard decisions that might be ahead of us in the very near future. What ever is decided is what is best for him and hope that he learns from those decisions to be the better person I know he can be. Someday I hope to look back at this post and be able to say boy look how far you have come we are all so proud of you.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Basketball Season ends

I have to brag a little about my baby girl Deanna. She tried her first time at playing basketball for our youth league this year. We wanted her to try everything and then make up her mind what she liked best. I have to tell you she did one year of T-ball for the baseball league and I wans't impressed but she wanted to play T-ball softball last year and we gave it a go and she enjoyed it a little more but we had to encourage her the whole way. She doesn't want to play this year so far but we still have a little time to make up our minds. Soccer was a given. She has been wanting to play ever since she could walk maybe before. She was only a couple of months old when Bend it like Beckham came out and I think that is really where she got her first love of it. So here we are at the first basketball practice and she didn't even want to touch the ball. It was like it was the first time she ever saw a basketball and it might bite her LOL. We make it through the first practice into the first game and don't you know she gets a ball right in the face. She came over to me I checked her out , she got a drink and she went right back out to be with her team. Sure the next game she kept her hands by her face all the time but she still played. So the next few practices and games she did alright then she got sick one week and one week Dennis had to work so we were unable to go. She tells us she doesn't want to play anymore during this time. That she likes practice but not game days. We asked her why and she said she can't play like the rest of them. Well we point out that most of the kids have already played a year and that some kids like her still needed lots of practice dribbling the ball just like her. A side note here she started the year not being able to dribble because she never did it before. So we tell her you have one more game and that she has to finnish this season out, and if she chooses she does not have to play again except for gym class. She seems fine with that and then the invitation comes for her basketball team to have a pizza party and this is where things start to change for her. Talk of the last game and her trophy just lit her up I guess. So here we are at the last game and she is dribbling and passing the ball and has come so far I am so proud of her. So the game ends and they do their last good game and off to the Wrap up Party we go. You usually have a coach that either just gets through the trophy's as fast as they can or someone who talks about every child. Well our coaches were all giving each other thanks and praises because it took three to keep the team going as with everyone life keeps you busy and sometimes you just need the extra help to get through. So our coach is handing out the Trophey's and Deanna is I believe second to last because when he got to her I stopped paying attention to anything else. As she is walking back to me I hear him start out don't quote me because I am just giving the quick version so the words are not exact but he started out with I know I should not say something about any one player over any other but my other coaches can attest that Deanna Marks started off the year not wanting to even touch the ball and now she can dribble down the whole court, we are so proud of her and hope she will come back next year and be on our team. Well not only was I totally thrown off but that one little thing made it so Deanna wants to play next year. We had been telling her all along that she was doing great and that hard work pays off and this proved it to her. I thank the coaches for all of their support and I am so VERY proud of my little girl.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Death brings family together.

I know it is horrible, but I am sure I am not the only one that it happens to. After my parents both died I kind of fell out of the loop. Not that I am not interested in what is going on in my families life, it is just MY families life took over my time and days, weeks, months, then years go by and then comes death and it puts everything else on hold and everyone gets together for a breif moment in time to comfort each other during this time of rememberance. All the while everyone says if you need anything call me, we really should stay in touch, so sad we had to meet this way, we should get together more often etc. etc. Hey I am even privy to all this. I do apologise but I know it will happen again and again throughout history. Take my best friend Christine. I made a promise to stay in touch more often this year and here it is March and I finally took the time to give her a call and catch up with her. Oh we have plans to get together next week but with the funeral arrangements for my Aunt Anna who just died tonight we will see how far I get in actually getting to it. As for my best friend who aleady passed two years ago now. You couldn't seperate us when we were young and then she moved away for a while. Life went on and I thought of her often. Years went by and we were reunited to have people get in our way of enjoying each other yet again. So sad but so true. Then finally when we get the chance to be together once again life throws us a curve ball and takes her away from me three days after we make plans on getting together to spend some time together just her and I. So you see never take life for granted you never know what tomorrow brings. Love your family and never let anything keep you apart too long that you don't know what is happening. I found out today that my ex sister in law died a while ago. She had contacted me on facebook and my life got busy. Oh I wished her a Happy Birthday but if I had taken a moment to look at her site I would have seen that she had already passed. Worse is I was just thinking when life slows down here a bit I will give her a call and see what she wanted to talk about. Again too late. The last time I talked to my Aunt Anna was at the hemotologist. She went there for the opposite problem I have. We had a really good talk. It was however a little over two years ago while I was pregnant with my daughter Dorothy. Since then I haven't seen or heard from her or about her till tonight. Funny just the other day I was talking to my cousin Fred's girlfriend ( he is having his own battle as I write this blog) , about family. When I was done chatting I was telling the kids there are only a few of Grandma's siblings left and I named them all. Then not even two days later we hear one died. Seems she was closer in my heart then I realized for the conversation to arise right before there was yet another death. Time is ticking for everyone and even though the many examples of wording above may happen at the funeral. I am hoping that I will take the time to stay in touch a bit more. Here is to yet again a new blog beginning. Lets see what life throws us next.