Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I know I speak in riddles today but only to protect the ones who need protecting

Our lives are always going through constant change. Some great, some not so great, but how about when great and not so great collide? Well our family has found ourselves in the middle of such a time. Very few if any of you may ever know what we have or what we are going through but know this unless you HAVE been living in our daily lives you have no clue to what we have been going through much less what has manifested itself this last week. The changes we are embarking on may change our whole way of life for the better, but the loss and regret we feel will emerge from time to time to remind us of what we have endured. We can never turn back time all we can do it rebuild with the time we have left. To live and love every day as if it may be your last. No matter how much you try to do good, sometimes it can never be played out the way you would have liked it to go. When you know something is wrong but you can't put your finger on it, then one day when it surfaces, you are face to face with it, then you look back and the signs were all there, but life always full of things to do just didn't let you in on what was right there staring at you all the time. Our family needs time to heal and move forward but how do you heal when the thing that needs healing no one wants to talk about, or doesn't want to talk about because it is so painful? There are so many people affected by this one thing, and yet we can only wonder how many of the affected have come forward so that they may begin to heal their own lives. We have the power in us from the Lord above to overcome anything, but even my faith has crashed down at this time. Not faith in Jesus just faith in people. I had faith I could change a life for the better, but in that faith I gave trust where there should have been none. I have always had a hard time trusting people I guess I only really ever trusted my parents. Not that I didn't give trust to people because I did and over and over again it has been thrown in my face. I guess that is why I am so open about our lives in my blogs, because if it is going to be out it might as well be the truth and not what people think it is or what they want people to think it is. There are few things I will not blog about and believe me there isn't much I am not willing to blog about. I guess my point behind blogging today is to open the eyes of people around the world as to trust carefully and keep an eye open for the things that just don't seem right and continue to pay attention and figure out what it is that you can't put your finger onto. You just might catch it before it gets out of hand, and before it hurts too many lives. Take head my friends watch carefully for what you thought was love may have only been masked by the hate of another.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Don't Wait!

As I sit here thinking about life I pledge to not put myself last anymore. Years of putting me off is what got me here. Telling myself when this happens then I can do this but when that happened, I just added something else to the list and put myself farther down on the never ending list of things to do. Maybe it stems from always feeling like I didn't quite fit into this world. Always different most people would agree. When they made me they actually brke the mold. Something my mother always would say. Never really understanding why people treat people they way they do. I am always trying to make everything better for someone else, putting myself out there so others can walk all over me and when they are done they just toss me aside. Kind of hurts a bit, but the next day I pick myself right back up and try, try again. I remember falling off my bike when I was learning to ride and my father saw I was hurt and he wanted to just throw the bike out and never let me ride it again. He never wanted to see me hurt. Thank God for my mother because she always taught me to get right back up and do what I wanted to do and eventually it would work out. So against my father's better judgement I got back on and rode that bike learning in not time at all. Years later you would see me riding back and forth to friends houses, my father's job, or just a long bike ride with my friends. One of my favorite activites next to swimming, singing, and reading. Like my bike riding friends of yesteryear would tell you, "you can ride and sing at the same time". Socially I am a butterfly but on the inside I have my doubts. I have no problem opening up to almost anyone. Why hide who you are, you only live once. I know some of you are laughing because you know you hear me before you see me most times. I have the gift of Gab thanks to my father and I make friends pretty fast, but with that goes tons of responsibility. Did you ever think that people don't really pay attention when you are speaking? I try to absorb as much as possible but my brain can only hold so much. If I have a headache all bets are off I probably won't retain more then a fraction of what people say but give me a clear day and I can absorb the world. So much useless information runs through my head but how many times have people had a problem and I could list a few ways they could take care of said problem. I guess it isn't so useless after all. I had a teacher once that told me "it isn't how much you know that matters but knowing where to find the answers". Thank you Mr. Driggs.

I love my children with all my heart but now know that no matter what, I can not raise them to be perfect. Oh I want them to be, like I wanted things to be perfect before taking care of myself. I have held back my love for my husband, and the few times that I have given it all I felt embarrassed. A little open but at least it is the truth. Even with that our marriage it pretty strong we have stormed many a storm and we are still standing strong. I have held back speaking up for my children because I didn't want to stand out too much. Held back disaplinning my children, afraid of what Society thinks. I see a lot of parents afraid to displine and everyone wonders why the kids are so mouthy, disrespectful, or demanding these days. We let them become this way. Back in my day if you swore you got a slap in the face and you didn't say it again ( at least not where it could be heard) of course now when you try to disapline, kids have been taught to threaten to say I'll call Social Services and such, make things up or blow it out of proportion, just to get back at someone. Most kids today have not been abused, but just use it as a crutch thinking they will get what they want. These are terrible practices. There ARE children out there that are abused but the system is so overrun with bogus calls they can't concentrate on some that really need to be taken care of. It is time for everyone to take care of their own and protect the family unit and better their lives. What ever happened to it takes a villiage to raise a child? Again people afraid to yell at someone else when they see them doing wrong. So kids go around thinking they can do what they please because Mom and or Dad will never find out. By the way KUDOS for those parents or neighbors who have stepped up to the bar to let parents know their kids have done wrong and extra Kudos if you told the child you know you aren't suppose to do that, "what would your parents say?". I have stood back and watched many people do wrong. Oh I speak up but only when it felt safe to do so, or when I was backed into a wall and it was my only choice. It took me a long time to overcome this part and still find myself right back there. I am just finally seeing that trying to make everyone happy actually made no one happy for any lenght of time. I have a child so messed up from his bio family and the things he has seen, he is afraid of them, doesn't want to see them, has nightmares about them. Then there are people who will sit and point the finger at the one parent and say you couldn't take care of your kids. She didn't have support, she did her best with what she had. She placed the kids into care and the kids are doing better. Sure they will have problems but they are working through them day by day. Be happy that the kids are safe, and don't judge you have not walked a day in this persons shoes. Take time step back, take a little time for yourself, reflect on your life and start making those changes, appointments, or commitments now. Don't Wait!

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Oh my it has been so long since I last wrote. We have been busy with all the parties and celebrating that I have been hopping right along. Thankfully my strength has kept up with me. We started off the month with Bryan's Birthday. My little man is now a official teenager. How about that! Time goes by so fast seems just like yesterday when he was handed over to us. He has come so far. He loves his new therapist and it is going well. Could so do with out the teen mouth but it isn't like I haven't gone through it before. He ended up with his own I POD, some games for the DS, clothes, and new sneakers.

Onto our next Birthday which was Samantha's. My big girl turned 16. Whoa! I remember when she was a wee little thing like Dorothy, talk about time going by. It doesn't matter which one it is the time just goes by way too fast. I want to slow it down and enjoy what I have left of their youth and they just want to get older so they can go out and do thier own things. Samantha of course will be having her sweet 16 party next month but we did have ice cream cake and she got her I POD stereo dock. She also got a book, some socks, and hair tyes.

Of course the same week we held Dennise's spa sleep over. We had a little rocky start but by the middle of the night things were in full swing and everyone was having a blast. We made our own facials, had our feet soaked , massaged, and painted and then got to watch some movies while chatting and having a great time. I will how ever keep in mind that there was not enough sleep room and take that into account next time. Dennise ended up with her I POD touch which she had saved 90.00 towards, some new sneakers, socks, and hair tyes.

Now as soon as the girls left the next morning Dennis and I were out the door to go out for my Birthday. He of course already ordered my Sookie Stackhouse collection, but he also bought me a new pot and pan set, a food processor, and a deep fryer. Can anyone say spoiled? We also had a super dinner out at Olive Garden thanks to my trusty gift cards, then of course we looked around and bought the kids all thier neat birthday presents too. We still of course are waiting for our washer as the one the guy really would like us to buy has not been delivered yet but if it isn't there soon then we will be forced to buy the Whirl pool one, not that it is a bad machine because our currant one is Whirlpool and it way outlasted itself by what we hear from everyone else so I can't complain but we are going on less repairs, and stuff like that. Then again we never had to have our old Whirlpool looked at and it is still going at 10 years and counting it is just not working so good anymore. Like the top agitator doesn't work anymore and most times you have to ring out the clothes at least twice but it still works, but for how long is the question. Oh well we are getting every dime out of it so to speak.

So last week was banging and this week Dennis has been working some major overtime. We need it to get on top of all the bills. We have regular bills that had to be caught up and now we have back bills that need to be taken care of. You know the ones people just let go because they aren't so important, no impending evictions just ones you always put aside because all they do it call or send a note from time to time. We also need other things like a couch and table and chairs but we haven't found what we need yet so we might as well pay those bills that are just sitting around while we are waiting for the perfect furniture to show up.

I do have to say that Dennis bought stuff to do our bedroom but with the hours he is putting in I don't see it happening anytime soon, they did say their might be layoffs in August again which I hope won't happen but if they do at least Dennis will have some stuff to keep him busy. Hell he loves to paint anyways who am I kidding. Love him so much.

My Birthday was today and I got up a little early fought to get Deanna on the bus like usual. Every day is a chore to get her ready and on the bus. I have pulled out every trick in the book and nothing has worked yet, but I am always open for suggestions. When she is gone I do the dishes, start the laundry while Bryan is walking Princess and then Dorothy is up and wanting to eat so I cook them brunch. I love taking care of two meals at one time. Snacks work well in our home. So I am reading my cousin's wifes blog and it is talking about my Aunt Anna and how they miss her calling and stuff like that and how her Birthday was April 18th. Well of course my Birthday is one of the hardest days of the year from me with missing my parents so I am reading this thinking my mother can't call and sing me Happy Birthday anymore either and of course the phone rings. Of course it is my Mother in law who for the last few years has not only not called me to wish me a Happy Birthday but has also forgot about 3 of the 6 kids birthdays so to our surprise she not only sent a present for Dennise, but called me just at the right time. Bryan is still wondering if he will get a present and Samantha supposes she will get hers at her Birthday Party, but either way my kids love thier grandparents so that is what matters most. Dennis calls me half way through his already overtime schedule and lets me know he is going to stay even later and even took some extra time for Saturday that he was already doing and that we would be going out Sunday for his Birthday. So now with the plans set in motion and the busy weekend end starting tomorrow after school I have a lot to get done. I have to make a note on here that I was so very thankful to everyone who sent me Birthday Wishes and made my day that much brighter. Love you all. Kisses to some Hugs to all. Have a good year everyone and don't worry about the number it isn't what makes you who you are.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

So many changes

I last left you with Bryan's problems. With the help of his thearpist and all involved I think we made the right choice in the way we decided to go. He has come so far I want to ensure he doesn't fail along the way. We have been busy in the house with income taxes coming in. We were able to get a van that we don't have to worry about breaking down if we go to far from home. Poor Dennise went van shopping with us and she hasn't been to Albany since three years ago, when we did school shopping. She was amazed by all the sights LOL. Oh well we don't usually go to the mall more then three times a year either way. We use to go every time we had time off from work, boy that has changed with the economy and of course not having a dependable van. The kids requests for gifts are less since we gave up T.V. now going on 6 years so that helps out alot with not having to search all over God's creation to make that dream come true. We have plenty of D.V.D's and the internet to fill in for anything we find interesting or needful to watch. So back to the van we ended up with a 2002 Ford Windstar Van with 50,000 miles. It has to go in the shop tomorrow for about an hour while they replace a sensor and sometime early next week we will pick up our other van after the Dodge dealer replaces a warranty part and inspects it. Then we will be up and rolling, and I can make all those appointments to check and see what is going on with my health. The price of the van kept us from being able to do as much as we wanted with our taxes but hey what can you do. The van came first. We don't even have enough to get the washer and dryer Dennis wants to get me with out waiting a few weeks. He wants to get me a front loader so we not only save on water but electric too, and of course he wants to get me a matching set. I love that he wants to give me nice things. Hell he is lucky. I don't smoke, do drugs, or drink, and I don't want expensive jewlery or flowers. I get very excited over the things we need in life. Not that I don't like to have the occasional Pegasus to add to my collection or some new clothes, but I really don't ask for much but the things I do want I want all at one time and that is not how life goes. I know that almost everyone knows that but it doesn't change how you feel LOL. I told Dennis the furniture will be there next year, besides now that we are getting closer to having everything payed off again in a few years it won't be so hard. We are in the middle of planning Bryan, Dennise, and Samantha's parties. Bryan already picked out the cake he wants me to make will post pictures on my facebook and myspace pages when the time comes. For Dennise I am going to try making a tye dyed peace sign cake. Wish me luck because the whole thing will be fashioned by me with no help from any other source. Since it is Samantha's sweet sixteen we are pulling off the big Birthday Bash. We invited family and friends who have been apart of our lives and have watched Samantha grow into a beautiful young lady although she does have a mouth. That she gets from the Graham side. Like always Dennis and I will probably go out to dinner for our Birthday, stop at the bookstore, and check out a few shops in and around the area we deicide to dine at. I have some gift certificates for Olive Garden so we will probably eat dinner there and then get cheesecake for dessert from the CheeseCake Factory after.

By the way I finally called my Aunt and Uncle and caught up with them a bit. It has been so long since I have been in touch with them. When we moved out here we kind of fell out of the loop. When we lived nearer them we were there much more often. I miss the parties and being close to family but God moved us out here and now we are real close to the job Dennis has now. Between the kids, work, the van and other things we have been real busy. I am hoping this summer will prove to be a time of relaxation with minor upheavels but as time goes by we will see if that rings true or not. Well I guess that is it for now on the changes in our lives. Have a good one everyone and spend your money well.

Monday, March 22, 2010

unseen events

I am sure my readers were in suspense. I do aplologise for the delay. We had quit the busy week last week as well. I left off on St. Patricks day. Well all hell broke loose when I finnished my blog. What should have been a quite night home with the kids turned upside down. Some of my closer friends know that Bryan was missing again. This time we really had no idea what happened. He said he was going to our neighbors house and he has gained the trust again to go there and back as it is the house right next to ours so who were we to think different? Well dinner time was getting close so I started calling the kids in for dinner. Mind you it was a beautiful spring day and you could hear all the kids in the neighborhood playing outside happily. Dennise and Deanna came semi quickly, but no Bryan. After calling him a few more times the neighbor who he was suppose to be with tells us he was there for less then 10 minutes when he said he was going to play with another neighborhood child that he is not allowed to play with because of that kids trouble making. So me and Dennis are going in and out calling him and Dennise decides her and Deanna will go get him. Well time goes by, we are still calling the kids, we sit down and have dinner with the kids that are here. This all started around 4:30 or so and the time comes to 8:00 and the three kids are not home. Well Dennis sees Dennise and calls to her she says I've been telling Bryan it is time to come home and he isn't listening. Dennis says well get home and get ready for bed. While he is out there they come in here and I ask what is up and she tells me and I tell her why didn't you come and get someone? She says she thought he would come right away because St. Patricks day dinner is one of his favorites. So much in fact that it is all he has been talking about for weeks. So while Dennis is still out side he sees Bryan riding a bike (he had his bike taken away) so he wasn't sure who it belonged to so Dennis said to Bryan it is time to come into dinner NOW.

Now this is where the story turns from a child not listening and just having fun to a whole lot of mess for everyone. I guess he went back to return the bike while telling the child he was playing with he had to go home to eat. This was at 8:00pm. Well here we are still going out every 10-15 minutes yelling for Bryan to come in and then I start to worry. One this is Bryan's favorite dinner, two he always comes in when Dennis calls, and three I think I see the child who he was playing with playing by himself now. By this time just before 9:00pm I had already started making calls to those around us to keep an eye out for him. So Dennis and I leave directions for the older kids and we start out in the van scanning for him. Well he was no where to be found so we went by our house to see if he was there yet and of course he wasn't so we headed back out because we had seen a sheriff's car pulled over in one our near by churches and thought we would start the search for Bryan. It was now a little after 9:00pm and I am worried and it isn't getting any better. So we start the paperwork, the officer decides to look around town a bit in case he was spooked by her car, but no Bryan. She ended up back in our yard both of us with no sighting of him, another state trooper pulls up and we give him some information. We have already printed out pictures and they are being handed out when one of the neighbors I had talked to early called back and said Bryan was hiding in one of their sheds/playhouses, scared to death. We tell him we will be right there and the police officer asks do you want me to stay nearby? I tell her yes in case he runs. Well a few minutes later as Dennis and Buke are going to pick him up I get a call at home that he ran. So the police officer takes off and the hunt is on. I am going to cut off the story a bit by cutting out all the calls, frantic attempts, and shear being scared out of my mind now wondering just what could have happened to scare him so bad. Well about 1:00am Buke catches him while being sourrounded by all kinds of police inforcement. They take him to a nearby neighbors where we try to talk Bryan into coming home and he is scared something fierce. If he hadn't come home they were going to put him in the mental ward. I am so glad he came home. Well as his story goes when he returned the bike he was on his way home. Now you can see the other kids house from ours, another 17 year old kid who lives in our town and gives most people the creeps here who had talked Bryan into to doing something bad a while back,threatens Bryan. He had threatened Bryan because Bryan had told on him. Well once Bryan was home and we assured him between our dog, Dennis and Buke that kid was getting no where near him. Bryan also slept in our room as he does most nights so he felt safer. We as Bryan and I went to bed around 2:30am while Dennis stayed up a while to make sure things were all well.

Thursday I talk to Bryan's probabtion officer and she asks why he was let out alone? Well she isn't here to know Bryan gained our trust back to be able to go to the neighbors house. He is a correctional officer how much safer can you get? Oh well no changing her mind to the fact that Bryan had been threatened and so bad he was afraid to come home and knew the yard he was hiding in that kid could not enter, so he thought he was safe there. On to the afternoon where we meet his thearpist and they all seem to think Bryan needs to be put away for a while. I am not comfortable with that although I would like to know the options we have in case it does come to that someday. The poor kid has been through so much, but he just is not learning fast enough to make the good choices over the bad and it is getting him further and further into deep shit. I so wish we had known what was going on in his life so much earlier. I believe we would have been able to pass most of what we are going through now if he had only opened up sooner on what was going on. Well it is a late dinner tonight and the kids are waiting. I promise to finnish this story a bit later. Keep your kids close, but not to close where you smother them.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Our month so far

Let’s see this month is not only busy but boy is it a hard month for me. The 5th marks my Father's, Aunts, and Sister-in-laws birthdays. My father has been gone since September 2001, and my Aunt a few years later. The ninth is the day my mother died 6 years ago. Hard to believe it has been that long. The 15th is my Parents Anniversary so we always try to go out to their favorite Chinese Eatery, which Dennis took me to on Monday. I recently lost a Aunt on March 12th, her services are Saturday, and found out a uncle died on March 16th of last year and wonder why I wasn't contacted. Imagine how I felt when I wished my cousin a Happy Birthday and asked how his father was doing to find out he died. Like I said sometimes it is like everyone forgets me and then sometimes I know everything or so it seems. Oh well can't win either way. This month is pretty depressing for me to say the least. We are done with court for Bryan again for a while. Other then his law guardian pissing him off all went well. Of course child support starting rolling in again for the time being so we are getting some things for Bryan above and beyond what we get him normally of course Bryan still has nothing nice to say about that side. At least my sister stays in touch through the computer and his Bio paternal Grandmother also stays in touch, but has backed off a bit due to Bryan's request. He just needs some time to sort through things. I told them all to stay in touch because he needs to know they still care about him.
Dennis surprised me last night because he wanted to go to Kingston to see if they had any shirts for him for work next week. Now we don't take the van anywhere we don't need to go so this was a shock to me. While out he ended up with 2 pairs of pants, no shirts, a outfit for Dorothy for school next year, hat and gloves for Dorothy for next year, some Birthday presents for the kids, and a trip to Texas Roadhouse to seal the deal. Twice eating out in one week I can't ask for anymore. We also scouted out some big Birthday Present's that the kids have on their lists as well to get the best price. Boy I am getting really excited about getting our taxes and a newer van. Once we have the van then we can decide on what comes next that we need. We know a washer, and we priced some car seats for the new van in case it doesn't have built in ones like we have in our van now. I think we decided on one just waiting on that money. Dennis has been laid off for the week and usually it is me that wants to get out of the house but this week it has all been him LOL.
Today is of course ST. Patrick’s day so we are having the traditional cabbage and potatoes, but we also have carrots, Kabasi and usually Irish Soda bread. I forgot to get it so we took a trip to town and had to settle for Italian bread as they didn't have the Irish soda bread but I will pick some up tomorrow while we are out and some more cabbage since it is on sale. I have to say I have always loved the cabbage and it is so good for you. So as I sit here blogging away I keep checking on dinner and chatting with Dennis, while the kids are enjoying the spring weather that just might stick around for a while. So as long as things go well the rest of the month should fly by fast so until next time keep in touch with your families and love them for life goes by way to quickly.

What does the future hold?

Well we all had a very busy and exciting night last night and today was full of all kinds of chats and important talks. Everything revolved around Bryan today and what the future may hold for him. We have a meeting soon to talk about our options so that we can best make the right decision on what to do with Bryan. We were warned years ago this day may come and we have been trying to hold it off for as long as we could hoping for the best. Not that our faith and hope are faltering it is just we need a little more help in getting to the bottom of why Bryan is the way he is. He has made great improvements but everytime he gets into trouble it seems to be getting worse and more dangerous. He knows what he does is wrong but he still chooses to do the wrong thing. He will tell you he doesn't know why he did it, when he knew for a fact what he was doing was wrong and what he could have done to change the outcome. So here we are faced with all kinds of meetings to try and sort out the hard decisions that might be ahead of us in the very near future. What ever is decided is what is best for him and hope that he learns from those decisions to be the better person I know he can be. Someday I hope to look back at this post and be able to say boy look how far you have come we are all so proud of you.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Basketball Season ends

I have to brag a little about my baby girl Deanna. She tried her first time at playing basketball for our youth league this year. We wanted her to try everything and then make up her mind what she liked best. I have to tell you she did one year of T-ball for the baseball league and I wans't impressed but she wanted to play T-ball softball last year and we gave it a go and she enjoyed it a little more but we had to encourage her the whole way. She doesn't want to play this year so far but we still have a little time to make up our minds. Soccer was a given. She has been wanting to play ever since she could walk maybe before. She was only a couple of months old when Bend it like Beckham came out and I think that is really where she got her first love of it. So here we are at the first basketball practice and she didn't even want to touch the ball. It was like it was the first time she ever saw a basketball and it might bite her LOL. We make it through the first practice into the first game and don't you know she gets a ball right in the face. She came over to me I checked her out , she got a drink and she went right back out to be with her team. Sure the next game she kept her hands by her face all the time but she still played. So the next few practices and games she did alright then she got sick one week and one week Dennis had to work so we were unable to go. She tells us she doesn't want to play anymore during this time. That she likes practice but not game days. We asked her why and she said she can't play like the rest of them. Well we point out that most of the kids have already played a year and that some kids like her still needed lots of practice dribbling the ball just like her. A side note here she started the year not being able to dribble because she never did it before. So we tell her you have one more game and that she has to finnish this season out, and if she chooses she does not have to play again except for gym class. She seems fine with that and then the invitation comes for her basketball team to have a pizza party and this is where things start to change for her. Talk of the last game and her trophy just lit her up I guess. So here we are at the last game and she is dribbling and passing the ball and has come so far I am so proud of her. So the game ends and they do their last good game and off to the Wrap up Party we go. You usually have a coach that either just gets through the trophy's as fast as they can or someone who talks about every child. Well our coaches were all giving each other thanks and praises because it took three to keep the team going as with everyone life keeps you busy and sometimes you just need the extra help to get through. So our coach is handing out the Trophey's and Deanna is I believe second to last because when he got to her I stopped paying attention to anything else. As she is walking back to me I hear him start out don't quote me because I am just giving the quick version so the words are not exact but he started out with I know I should not say something about any one player over any other but my other coaches can attest that Deanna Marks started off the year not wanting to even touch the ball and now she can dribble down the whole court, we are so proud of her and hope she will come back next year and be on our team. Well not only was I totally thrown off but that one little thing made it so Deanna wants to play next year. We had been telling her all along that she was doing great and that hard work pays off and this proved it to her. I thank the coaches for all of their support and I am so VERY proud of my little girl.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Death brings family together.

I know it is horrible, but I am sure I am not the only one that it happens to. After my parents both died I kind of fell out of the loop. Not that I am not interested in what is going on in my families life, it is just MY families life took over my time and days, weeks, months, then years go by and then comes death and it puts everything else on hold and everyone gets together for a breif moment in time to comfort each other during this time of rememberance. All the while everyone says if you need anything call me, we really should stay in touch, so sad we had to meet this way, we should get together more often etc. etc. Hey I am even privy to all this. I do apologise but I know it will happen again and again throughout history. Take my best friend Christine. I made a promise to stay in touch more often this year and here it is March and I finally took the time to give her a call and catch up with her. Oh we have plans to get together next week but with the funeral arrangements for my Aunt Anna who just died tonight we will see how far I get in actually getting to it. As for my best friend who aleady passed two years ago now. You couldn't seperate us when we were young and then she moved away for a while. Life went on and I thought of her often. Years went by and we were reunited to have people get in our way of enjoying each other yet again. So sad but so true. Then finally when we get the chance to be together once again life throws us a curve ball and takes her away from me three days after we make plans on getting together to spend some time together just her and I. So you see never take life for granted you never know what tomorrow brings. Love your family and never let anything keep you apart too long that you don't know what is happening. I found out today that my ex sister in law died a while ago. She had contacted me on facebook and my life got busy. Oh I wished her a Happy Birthday but if I had taken a moment to look at her site I would have seen that she had already passed. Worse is I was just thinking when life slows down here a bit I will give her a call and see what she wanted to talk about. Again too late. The last time I talked to my Aunt Anna was at the hemotologist. She went there for the opposite problem I have. We had a really good talk. It was however a little over two years ago while I was pregnant with my daughter Dorothy. Since then I haven't seen or heard from her or about her till tonight. Funny just the other day I was talking to my cousin Fred's girlfriend ( he is having his own battle as I write this blog) , about family. When I was done chatting I was telling the kids there are only a few of Grandma's siblings left and I named them all. Then not even two days later we hear one died. Seems she was closer in my heart then I realized for the conversation to arise right before there was yet another death. Time is ticking for everyone and even though the many examples of wording above may happen at the funeral. I am hoping that I will take the time to stay in touch a bit more. Here is to yet again a new blog beginning. Lets see what life throws us next.