Why did I name this "My Lost Son". Well here is the story from what I know, he got mad at us for something, blaming us for others, and can't come to terms with the damage he caused to his siblings from choices he made.
He cut off contact with us and wants us to figure out what is wrong. Well I tell you I know what is wrong his mind is clouded with drinking and drug use, he is not listening to God.
Do I still love him? You bet I do. Everyone makes mistakes and until he is ready to live up to the ones he made, his mind will be clouded with blaming others instead of trying to make amends for things he did that he knew were wrong, and doesn't want to admit to.
Most of the things he did wrong I didn't even get to talk to him about because I didn't find out about them until he had left the nest, so is his mind playing with him, making him feel guilty and his only recourse is to hate his parents.
That might be the case but either way I hope he comes to his senses before his father or I pass on. Until then I will continue to pray for him.
I miss being able to talk to him, hear about his magic shows, and how life is being married now. (We weren't even invited to his wedding, and no one who would have set him straight was either, they only invited the people who follow instead of lead). I hope someday to be able to catch up on it all.
Everytime we our out near where he lives I hope to run into him, catch a glimpse of him, anything to hold on to. Every now and then someone sneaks me a picture of him which I look at daily until I get a new one.
He was my first born, looks like both his dad and mine which makes him quite the catch. I wish him and his wife all the luck in the world, but hope he never forgets about his family or how we raised him to be strong, independent, adaptive, forgiving, and loving of God.
One day I hope to write to you all and let you know that our son has returned. I was kind of hoping he would watch "confessions of a prodigal son", so he could understand that we love him unconditionally, no matter what he has done wrong, we will always listen to him, be here for him, until we have passed on , and then I hope our words of encouragement throughout the years keep him moving forward.
If you happen to read this Buke know we will always love you.
I am so sorry to hear this, Much love.ReplyDelete